Movie and Video Game Adaptation of Randy's Autobiography to Come

Randy's runaway hit autobiography, “I Will Stalk You,” is confirmed to have a movie and video game based on the book. “Stalking is taking on a much wider appeal,” says stalker analyst I. M. N. Stalker. “The niche of stalkers will soon grow to an important sector in the media industry.”

Michael Boore, director of the documentaries “Bowling for Columstalk” and “Fahrenheit 5741k3r”, will be take charge of the movie. “We really want to capture the essence of Randy and his stalking abilities,” says Boore. “It'll be quite a challenge.”

A preview of the movie has recently been leaked onto the internet. Transcript as follows:

Victim: La dee la dee la . . . What a wonderful day!

Randy: Mwahahaaa!!!

Victim: BY GOLLYWHOCKS! Ahhhhh!!!!!

Randy: NO ONE CAN ESCAPE A STALKER!

Of course, Randy won't show his face in a nationwide movie. Actor Tom Bruise will be portraying the stalker.

The video game will be released on Xbox 360. The objective is to stalk unaware
bystanders and make them say, “By gollywhocks!” The louder they shout, the more points you get. These points can purchase tracking devices and other stalker trinkets.

However, the game is subject to some recent controversy. Lawyer Jack Mompson says the game is, “overly scary and might frighten little children.” It is rumored that Mompson was stalked and is currently held hostage at Stalker Squad HQ.