In the heart of Philadelphia stands city hall. Towering over 500 feet in the air, the tallest building up to 1908, stands a statue. That statue is William Penn. Credited with founding the land of Pennsylvania and the city of Philadelphia, he's known as one of the greatest men of time. But was he a secretly stalker?
Some think so. Conspiracy theorist and stalker researcher U. R. Rong says, “Recently, my colleagues unearthed a diary entitled 'I'm a STAAALKER!' and it was undeniably credited to William Penn.”
The diary talks about how Penn stalked his many victims. One passage reads, “We weren't really Quakers. The Religious Society of Friends? Bah! We were STALKERS! Born to stalk!”
In another entry, he says, “My 'Greene Town' of Philadelphia is flourishing quite well. We managed to plant tracking devices on every citizen, and we're stalking EVERYONE! Pretty soon I'll stalk the entire NEW WOOORLD!!!! MWAHAHAAA!!!!”
The findings have left the world in shock. “It's incredible that we can see this drastically different view on William Penn. I'm still amazed that this exists.”
It is also rumored that Thomas Edison and Albert Einstein were stalkers. Stay tuned for more updates.
1 comment:
Albert Einstein, definitely. Marie Curie had to file a restraining order.
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